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CLOSING STATEMENTS FROM THE

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DEFENSE.

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[CHERYL] LADIES AND GENTLEMEN OF

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THE JURY, BEFORE YOU RETIRE TO

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DETERMINE MY GUILT, I JUST WANT

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TO ASK YOU ONE QUESTION:

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DO I LOOK LIKE A RAPIST?

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[■■]

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[MARK] HEY GUYS, MARK HERE.

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WE'RE GEARING UP TO PLAY SOME

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CHARADES. WE'RE GONNA DO IT

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RIGHT, WE'RE GONNA DO IT NOW.

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WHO'S READY?

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[BILL] OH, THEY'RE READY.

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[EVANY] UH, SOUNDS LIKE...

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[MARK] THIS IS TRADITIONAL

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CHARADES. I'M TALKIN' TIMED

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ROUNDS, SHUT YOUR MOUTH, ACTED

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OUT.

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[SCOTT] AVATAR.

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[EVANY] AVATAR!

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[SCOTT] YES! YEAH. YEEEEAH!

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[MARK] COUNT THE SYLLABLES, KEEP

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THE PACE, BUT KEEP YOUR HEAD.

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[BRIAN] UH, CHEST. UH... ME.

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[MARK] LET'S GET IT ON!

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[BRIAN] UH, BRIAN.

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[BRIAN] UH, YOU'RE OUT.

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[BRIAN] UH, TROUPE.

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TROUPE!

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[ANDREW] TIME!

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[BRIAN] YES! SCREW YOU, KYLE.

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[BILL] CHARADES.

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[CHERYL] THE PRODUCERS SAID WE

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SHOULD HAVE A MINORITY IN THE

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GROUP, SO WE'RE REPLACING YOU.

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[BRIAN] WHO'S MY REPLACEMENT?

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[CHERYL] GORD.

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[BRIAN] THE BOOM MIC GUY?

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[EVANY] BRIAN, GORD IS NATIVE.

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[GORD] I'M MI'KMAQ.

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[BRIAN] OH, CONGRATULATIONS.

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GOOD FOR YOU.

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[EVANY] BRIAN, YOU'RE THE

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WHITEST MEMBER OF THE TROUPE.

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[BRIAN] THAT'S NOT TRUE. SCOTT

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IS WHITER THAN I AM.

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[CHERYL] ACTUALLY, SCOTT IS

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CRAZY TANNED FROM THE WAIST

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DOWN.

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[SCOTT] YEAH, CHECK THIS OUT.

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(RIP!)

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[KYLE] WHOA HO HO, NICE! BUILT,

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MUCHACHO.

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[ANDREW] LET'S GO.

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[BRIAN] OW! I HATE YOU--

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[ANDREW] SHUT UP, WHITEY.

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LET'S GO.

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[MARK] THAT'S HOW YOU REPLACE A

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GROUP MEMBER, THAT'S HOW YOU

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RUIN SOMEONE'S DAY.

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[BILL] THAT'S HOW YOU GIVE

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SOMEONE AN OPPORTUNITY THAT THEY

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DON'T THINK IS AN OPPORTUNITY

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UNTIL THEY'VE GAINED A BIT OF

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PERSPECTIVE. GOOD LUCK, BRIAN.

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[MARK] THAT'S CHARADES!

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[NARRATOR] MEET THE NEW

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PICNICFACE. ANDY, KYLE, EVANY,

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MARK, CHERYL, BILL, SCOTT,

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AND INTRODUCING...

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[■■]

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[GORD] I'M OF THE MI'KMAQ

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NATION.

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[■■]

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[SCOTT] WELL HERE'S MY THOUGHT

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OR TWO...

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YEAH, GET OUT OF HERE!

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>>BUT SIR, YOU CAN'T JUST GO

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OUT THERE.

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[SCOTT] GET OUT OF HERE!

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[SCOTT] RECOGNIZE ME NOW? THIS

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IS WHAT I LOOKED LIKE BEFORE I

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FOUND CELEBRITY VARNISH. BUT

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[NARRATOR] SIMPLY APPLY A THICK

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COAT OF OUR UNIQUELY FORMULATED

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VARNISH TO YOUR HEAD THREE TIMES

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DAILY...

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AND HELLO HOLLYWOOD,

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CALIFORNIA.

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YOU'RE NOW A CELEBRITY.

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[NARRATOR] THIS WOMAN HAD THREE

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AUDITIONS IN HER FIRST WEEK

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USING CELEBRITY VARNISH.

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[NARRATOR] LOOK AT THIS GUY.

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WOW!

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JUST LOOK AT HIM.

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[■■]

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THIS...

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TO THIS.

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[NARRATOR] SEEMS LIKE THIS ONE

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WILL HAPPEN ALL THE TIME WITH

103
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CELEBRITY VARNISH. LOOK AT THEM.

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WOW. JUST LOOK AT THEM ALL.

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[■■]

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[■■]

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[OLD LADY] OKAY, WHICH SPEECH

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DEFECT AFFLICTED CANADA'S THIRD

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GOVERNOR GENERAL, LORD DUFFERIN?

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JASON?

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[JASON] I DON'T KNOW, MAN. TELL

112
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ME SOMETHING FOR REAL: IS THAT

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FERN BEHIND ME MOVING?

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[OLD LADY] JASON, THERE'S NO ONE

115
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IN THE FERN, SO...

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[JASON] YOU'D TELL ME IF THERE

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WAS A FUCKIN DUDE IN THAT FERN,

118
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WOULDN'T YOU?

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[OLD LADY] THERE'S NO ONE IN THE

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FERN, JASON. WE'RE JUST TRYING

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TO HAVE A NICE GAME, AREN'T WE,

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MARGARET?

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[MARGARET] ER... WHAT IS IT--

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COULD SOMEBODY PASS ME MY

125
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WALLET?

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[OLD LADY] MARGARET, IT'S RIGHT

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THERE.

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[JASON] I'M GONNA PUT A GUN IN

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THAT FERN AND START FIRING.

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[MARGARET] MY WALLET.

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[NARRATOR] TRIVIA-BASED BOARD

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GAMES. EACH YEAR THOUSANDS OF

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FAMILIES ENJOY PLAYING THEM, BUT

134
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HAVE YOU EVER WONDERED HOW

135
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TRIVIA-BASED BOARD GAMES ARE

136
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MADE? WHERE DO THEY COME FROM,

137
00:05:20,180 --> 00:05:21,056
AND HOW ARE THEY MADE? TIME TO

138
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TAKE ANOTHER TRIP TO FIND OUT.

139
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READY, TRAVEL CROW?

140
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(CAWING)

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00:05:26,311 --> 00:05:27,271
LOCAL MALL, HOME OF THE FOOD

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COURT, THE "EVERYTHING FOR ON

143
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FIRE" STORE, AND THE GAME STORE.

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WE ASKED AN EMPLOYEE WHERE THIS

145
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GAME STORE GETS ITS TRIVIA-BASED

146
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BOARD GAMES.

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[JOSH] HEY, MY NAME'S JOSH.

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[NARRATOR] THAT'S RIGHT. FROM

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NEW YORK CITY.

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00:05:40,826 --> 00:05:41,702
(CAWING)

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[NARRATOR] HERE IN NEW YORK IS

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THE COMPANY THAT MANUFACTURES

153
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ALL OF YOUR FAVOURITE

154
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TRIVIA-BASED BOARD GAMES,

155
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INCLUDING, "BRAINSIES".

156
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"FOUR CHIN".

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"40-SOMETHING MAN AND HIS HORSE

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FRIENDS" TRIVIA.

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AND "CORN GA" TRIVIA.

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ALL THESE GAMES ARE MADE IN THIS

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ONE BUILDING.

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>>IT'S A GOOD WORKING

163
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ENVIRONMENT. WOULDN'T YOU SAY

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SO, STANLEY?

165
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[STANLEY] MAN, YOU GOTTA HELP

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ME, I'M BEING HELD HOSTAGE--

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[NARRATOR] BUT HOW DO THEY COME

168
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UP WITH THE QUESTIONS THAT GO ON

169
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THE TRIVIA CARD? TO FIND OUT,

170
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LET'S TRAVEL ALL THE WAY TO THE

171
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ENGLISH COUNTRYSIDE.

172
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(CAWING)

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[NARRATOR] HERE, WE SEE AN

174
00:06:09,938 --> 00:06:10,481
ARISTOCRAT BUSY COLLECTING

175
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TRIVIA. HE'LL FIND THE FACTS AND

176
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RELAY THEM TO HIS MAN-SERVANT,

177
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WHO MAKES NOTES IN HIS TOMES.

178
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RIGHT NOW, THE COLLECTOR IS

179
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NOTICING THAT MEADOWS ARE

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MOSTLY GREEN.

181
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THIS WILL BECOME A QUESTION

182
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ON ONE OF YOUR TRIVIA CARDS.

183
00:06:23,869 --> 00:06:25,287
(LAME SPOKEN SOUND EFFECT)

184
00:06:26,038 --> 00:06:26,079
[NARRATOR] THESE ARISTOCRATS CAN

185
00:06:26,788 --> 00:06:27,414
BE FOUND IN ALL CORNERS OF THE

186
00:06:28,165 --> 00:06:29,583
WORLD. FROM FIELDS, TO RECORD

187
00:06:30,209 --> 00:06:32,419
STORES, TO OUTER SPACE.

188
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(LAME SPOKEN SOUND EFFECT)

189
00:06:36,298 --> 00:06:36,507
[NARRATOR] ALL OF THIS SO THAT

190
00:06:37,299 --> 00:06:37,591
YOU CAN PLAY A NICE,

191
00:06:38,342 --> 00:06:39,510
TRIVIA-BASED BOARD GAME AT HOME

192
00:06:40,052 --> 00:06:40,302
WITH YOUR FAMILY.

193
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[OLD LADY] WELL, THAT WAS AN

194
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INTERESTING LESSON, WASN'T IT,

195
00:06:42,596 --> 00:06:43,347
JASON?

196
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[JASON] OH MY GOD, THERE HE IS.

197
00:06:45,349 --> 00:06:45,974
HE'S RIGHT IN THE FERN, HE'S

198
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[■■]

199
00:07:02,115 --> 00:07:03,033
[EVANY] I HAD A REALLY GOOD TIME

200
00:07:03,408 --> 00:07:04,660
TONIGHT.

201
00:07:07,079 --> 00:07:11,458
[■■]

202
00:07:11,875 --> 00:07:12,209
(ZOOM!)

203
00:07:12,543 --> 00:07:14,419
(CRASH)

204
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:16,213
[VOICE] BILLY, HEXICON IS BACK.

205
00:07:16,964 --> 00:07:17,881
WE NEED YOU. YOU'RE ONE OF THE

206
00:07:18,507 --> 00:07:20,384
LAST TRANSFORMERS LEFT.

207
00:07:21,134 --> 00:07:21,176
[EVANY] HE DOESN'T LOOK LIKE A

208
00:07:21,635 --> 00:07:22,386
TRANSFORMER.

209
00:07:23,136 --> 00:07:23,178
[VOICE] THAT'S BECAUSE HE'S AN

210
00:07:23,679 --> 00:07:24,721
INTERNAL TRANSFORMER. ALL HIS

211
00:07:25,222 --> 00:07:26,098
ORGANS ARE CARS.

212
00:07:26,557 --> 00:07:26,848
[EVANY] WHAT?

213
00:07:27,391 --> 00:07:29,726
(MECHANICAL NOISES)

214
00:07:30,227 --> 00:07:35,274
[EVANY] OH GOD!

215
00:07:35,732 --> 00:07:42,281
(CAR ENGINES)

216
00:07:42,823 --> 00:07:46,326
[EVANY] (CRYING)

217
00:07:48,579 --> 00:07:59,798
[■■]

218
00:08:13,770 --> 00:08:14,438
[NARRATOR] PREVIOUSLY ON

219
00:08:17,065 --> 00:08:17,608
[■■]

220
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[BRIAN] BRIAN, YOU'RE OUT OF THE

221
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[■■]

222
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[BRIAN] SCREW YOU!

223
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[■■]

224
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[■■]

225
00:08:37,628 --> 00:08:37,836
[GORD] I HOPE YOU ENJOY THE NEXT

226
00:08:41,089 --> 00:08:50,515
[■■]

227
00:08:51,308 --> 00:08:51,642
[SCOTT] WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE SHE

228
00:08:52,517 --> 00:08:52,934
ACTUALLY AGREED TO GO OUT WITH

229
00:08:53,560 --> 00:08:55,729
ME. SHE'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

230
00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:56,897
[CHERYL] WOW, I CAN'T BELIEVE HE

231
00:08:57,648 --> 00:08:59,608
ACTUALLY ASKED ME OUT. HE'S SUCH

232
00:08:59,983 --> 00:09:00,651
A BABE.

233
00:09:01,526 --> 00:09:02,402
[GORD] HI, MY NAME IS MIKE, AND

234
00:09:03,028 --> 00:09:03,070
I'LL BE YOUR WAITER THIS

235
00:09:03,570 --> 00:09:04,655
EVENING. WOULD YOU LIKE TO TRY

236
00:09:05,405 --> 00:09:05,739
SOME OF OUR HOUSE WINE?

237
00:09:06,490 --> 00:09:07,366
[SCOTT] SURE. THAT'D BE GREAT.

238
00:09:07,949 --> 00:09:10,035
[CHERYL] YES, PLEASE.

239
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[GORD] WHAT A NICE COUPLE. THEY

240
00:09:12,704 --> 00:09:13,664
REMIND ME OF MY GRANDPARENTS,

241
00:09:14,498 --> 00:09:15,123
WHO WERE PART OF THE MI'KMAQ

242
00:09:15,874 --> 00:09:17,042
NATION. AT THE TIME OF THE FIRST

243
00:09:17,793 --> 00:09:19,002
CONTACT WITH EUROPEAN EXPLORERS

244
00:09:19,753 --> 00:09:21,421
IN THE 16TH AND 17TH CENTURIES,

245
00:09:22,172 --> 00:09:22,673
THE MI'KMAQ LIVED IN THE REGION

246
00:09:23,382 --> 00:09:23,674
NOW KNOWN AS THE MARITIME

247
00:09:24,549 --> 00:09:25,300
PROVINCES, AND THE GASPE

248
00:09:26,009 --> 00:09:26,802
PENINSULA. LATER, THEY ALSO

249
00:09:27,469 --> 00:09:28,762
SETTLED IN NEW ENGLAND AND

250
00:09:29,221 --> 00:09:31,598
NEWFOUNDLAND.

251
00:09:32,349 --> 00:09:33,225
THE MI'KMAQ CALLED THEMSELVES

252
00:09:33,975 --> 00:09:35,644
L'NU'K, MEANING "THE PEOPLE".

253
00:09:36,436 --> 00:09:36,812
THE TERM MI'KMAQ COMES FROM THE

254
00:09:37,270 --> 00:09:38,105
WORD NIKMAK,

255
00:09:38,772 --> 00:09:40,524
MEANING "MY KIN FRIENDS".

256
00:09:41,316 --> 00:09:41,692
THE MI'KMAQ LANGUAGE IS RICH

257
00:09:42,609 --> 00:09:43,819
AND DESCRIPTIVE. THEIR NAME FOR

258
00:09:44,569 --> 00:09:47,531
THE MONTH OF MAY IS TQOLJEWIKU:

259
00:09:48,115 --> 00:09:49,700
"FROG CROAKING MOON".

260
00:09:50,242 --> 00:09:50,951
[GORD] MORE WINE?

261
00:09:51,410 --> 00:09:51,451
[SCOTT] SURE--

262
00:09:51,993 --> 00:09:52,202
[GORD] THE MI'KMAQ NATION HAS

263
00:09:52,953 --> 00:09:54,663
POPULATION OF ABOUT 40,000, OF

264
00:09:55,330 --> 00:09:56,581
WHOM NEARLY 11,000 SPEAK

265
00:09:57,249 --> 00:09:58,250
THE ALGONQUIN LANGUAGE,

266
00:09:58,709 --> 00:09:59,710
M■KMAW■SIMK.

267
00:10:00,627 --> 00:10:01,086
[SCOTT] EXCUSE ME, BUT YOU'RE

268
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:02,421
MI'KMAQ, AREN'T YOU?

269
00:10:03,171 --> 00:10:03,213
[CHERYL] I WAS JUST GOING TO ASK

270
00:10:03,588 --> 00:10:06,675
THAT. YOU READ MY MIND.

271
00:10:07,384 --> 00:10:07,551
[GORD] SEEMS YOU WERE BOTH

272
00:10:08,009 --> 00:10:08,635
READING MINE.

273
00:10:11,096 --> 00:10:21,565
[■■]

274
00:10:22,315 --> 00:10:22,357
[BRIAN] HOW COULD THEY KICK ME

275
00:10:22,524 --> 00:10:23,984
OUT OF THE GROUP?

276
00:10:24,401 --> 00:10:27,571
ME! BRIAN!

277
00:10:28,155 --> 00:10:29,781
WHAT DO I DO NOW?

278
00:10:30,449 --> 00:10:30,782
WHAT AM I, IF NOT A SKETCH

279
00:10:31,158 --> 00:10:34,786
COMEDIAN?

280
00:10:35,370 --> 00:10:37,372
I'M NOT GONNA CRY.

281
00:10:37,998 --> 00:10:40,917
I'M GONNA STAY STRONG.

282
00:10:41,501 --> 00:10:45,338
DON'T... YOU... CRY.

283
00:10:45,756 --> 00:10:46,715
(CRYING)

284
00:10:47,215 --> 00:10:50,594
WHY ME? WHY?

285
00:10:51,136 --> 00:10:55,307
(HYSTERICAL CRYING)

286
00:10:56,016 --> 00:10:57,684
WHY? WHY DOES THIS HURT SO

287
00:11:02,814 --> 00:11:05,275
[■■]

288
00:11:06,026 --> 00:11:07,819
[EVANY] ALRIGHTY. SO WHAT IS THE

289
00:11:08,278 --> 00:11:09,196
PLAN TONIGHT?

290
00:11:10,697 --> 00:11:10,781
[EVANY] GREAT. WHAT MOVIE ARE WE

291
00:11:11,323 --> 00:11:11,782
WATCHING?

292
00:11:12,616 --> 00:11:12,657
[CHERYL] ACTUALLY, WE WERE JUST

293
00:11:13,033 --> 00:11:13,575
GONNA--

294
00:11:14,159 --> 00:11:14,659
[SCOTT] PIZZA'S HERE.

295
00:11:15,202 --> 00:11:15,243
[CHERYL] ERIC!

296
00:11:15,619 --> 00:11:15,911
[SCOTT] HEY.

297
00:11:16,661 --> 00:11:17,204
[CHERYL] HEY. OH, IT'S SO GOOD

298
00:11:17,621 --> 00:11:17,954
TO SEE YOU.

299
00:11:18,622 --> 00:11:19,122
[SCOTT] GOOD TO SEE YOU.

300
00:11:19,790 --> 00:11:19,831
[CHERYL] DID YOU BRING THE

301
00:11:19,998 --> 00:11:20,040
MOVIE?

302
00:11:20,749 --> 00:11:21,124
[SCOTT] OH, WHAT, THIS MOVIE?

303
00:11:21,875 --> 00:11:26,254
[CHERYL] YES, THIS MOVIE, ERIC.

304
00:11:26,922 --> 00:11:30,217
UM, DO YOU MIND IF WE...

305
00:11:30,967 --> 00:11:33,011
[EVANY] LET'S DO IT. I'M READY.

306
00:11:33,720 --> 00:11:33,929
[CHERYL] OKAY. WELL, YOU KNOW

307
00:11:34,596 --> 00:11:36,515
HOW THEY SAY THAT TWO IS

308
00:11:37,015 --> 00:11:38,225
COMPANY.. US...

309
00:11:38,725 --> 00:11:39,518
BUT THREE IS--

310
00:11:40,101 --> 00:11:41,895
[EVANY] MORE COMPANY.

311
00:11:42,646 --> 00:11:43,355
[CHERYL] NO. WE'RE JUST GONNA GO

312
00:11:44,105 --> 00:11:44,481
UPSTAIRS AND WATCH THIS. IT'LL

313
00:11:44,898 --> 00:11:44,940
BE EASIER.

314
00:11:45,649 --> 00:11:45,690
[EVANY] PLEASE DON'T LEAVE ME

315
00:11:46,024 --> 00:11:46,525
ALONE.

316
00:11:47,234 --> 00:11:47,275
[CHERYL] YOU'RE BEING WEIRD.

317
00:11:47,567 --> 00:11:49,027
[EVANY] DONT'T GO-- OW!

318
00:11:49,402 --> 00:11:51,238
PLEASE?

319
00:11:53,448 --> 00:11:58,829
[■■]

320
00:11:59,538 --> 00:11:59,913
>>WE GOT YOU ALONE.

321
00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:01,706
>>YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, YEAH.

322
00:12:02,499 --> 00:12:02,666
>>C'MON SWEETHEART, LET'S GO

323
00:12:03,375 --> 00:12:04,835
TO SALSA DANCING AT GOMER'S.

324
00:12:05,710 --> 00:12:05,752
[EVANY] I DON'T WANT TO GO SALSA

325
00:12:05,961 --> 00:12:06,419
DANCING AT GOMER'S.

326
00:12:07,170 --> 00:12:07,254
>>OH, WE'RE GOING TO HAVE SO

327
00:12:07,921 --> 00:12:08,046
MUCH FUN AT GOMER'S. IT'S

328
00:12:08,797 --> 00:12:11,341
AWESOME. IT'S FUN TIME TONIGHT.

329
00:12:12,050 --> 00:12:14,177
>>YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY...

330
00:12:14,928 --> 00:12:16,596
IT TAKES TWO TO TANGO... SO...

331
00:12:17,305 --> 00:12:18,056
>>GOMER'S IS A SALSA CLUB.

332
00:12:18,807 --> 00:12:19,307
>>THE SAME RULES APPLY FOR ALL

333
00:12:19,724 --> 00:12:20,851
DANCING.

334
00:12:21,601 --> 00:12:23,854
>>DON'T LEAVE ME ALONE.

335
00:12:24,521 --> 00:12:25,730
PLEASE DON'T GO.

336
00:12:26,231 --> 00:12:27,858
NO, DON'T GO.

337
00:12:28,233 --> 00:12:29,109
OH NO.

338
00:12:41,204 --> 00:12:41,246
[ANSWERING MACHINE] ZERO

339
00:12:44,040 --> 00:12:47,043
[■■]

340
00:12:47,502 --> 00:12:50,881
■LIVING ALONE

341
00:12:51,506 --> 00:12:54,885
ALL OF THE TIME■

342
00:12:55,594 --> 00:12:55,634
[ANSWERING MACHINE] ZERO

343
00:12:55,635 --> 00:12:56,094
MESSAGES.

344
00:13:19,242 --> 00:13:19,284
[NARRATOR] PREVIOUSLY,

345
00:14:42,158 --> 00:14:44,828
[■■]

346
00:14:45,578 --> 00:14:45,704
[ANDREW] HEY GUYS, WE WERE JUST

347
00:14:46,413 --> 00:14:46,454
TALKING ABOUT WHAT TO DO WITH

348
00:14:46,788 --> 00:14:48,540
GORD, BECAUSE... HE'S NOT REALLY

349
00:14:49,249 --> 00:14:50,875
FUNNY. AND IT'S NOT A NATIVE

350
00:14:51,668 --> 00:14:52,961
THING. IT'S JUST, HE'S REALLY

351
00:14:53,336 --> 00:14:54,254
BORING.

352
00:14:54,963 --> 00:14:55,213
[SCOTT] I DON'T KNOW. I KINDA

353
00:14:55,964 --> 00:14:59,592
LIKE GORD. IT'S LIKE I LAUGH AND

354
00:14:59,968 --> 00:15:02,095
I LEARN.

355
00:15:02,762 --> 00:15:04,097
IT'S LIKE A DOUBLE THING.

356
00:15:04,848 --> 00:15:05,306
[ANDREW] SCOTT, DO YOU HAVE TO

357
00:15:05,682 --> 00:15:07,183
TAN HERE?

358
00:15:07,934 --> 00:15:07,976
[EVANY] I DON'T SEE WHY WE NEED

359
00:15:08,727 --> 00:15:09,936
GORD AT ALL. WE ALREADY HAVE A

360
00:15:10,603 --> 00:15:11,604
MINORITY IN THE GROUP.

361
00:15:12,063 --> 00:15:12,188
[ANDREW] WHO?

362
00:15:12,897 --> 00:15:15,483
[EVANY] IT'S ME. I'M JEWISH.

363
00:15:16,151 --> 00:15:16,401
[SCOTT] WELL, DON'T CALL

364
00:15:17,152 --> 00:15:17,527
MEETINGS IN THE AFTERNOON IF YOU

365
00:15:18,278 --> 00:15:18,403
DON'T WANT ME TO SHOW UP IN MY

366
00:15:18,820 --> 00:15:19,029
TAN PANTS.

367
00:15:19,988 --> 00:15:20,030
LIKE ME TO CALL--

368
00:15:20,864 --> 00:15:20,947
[SCOTT] I NEED TO TAN AT A

369
00:15:21,531 --> 00:15:22,866
REGULAR SCHEDULE.

370
00:15:23,742 --> 00:15:24,784
[SCOTT] MONDAY TO FRIDAY,

371
00:15:25,326 --> 00:15:26,953
3 TO 4, TAN PANTS.

372
00:15:27,662 --> 00:15:29,164
[BILL] I'M THE MINORITY.

373
00:15:29,914 --> 00:15:30,373
[ANDREW] WHAT MINORITY ARE YOU,

374
00:15:30,665 --> 00:15:31,166
BILL?

375
00:15:31,875 --> 00:15:32,417
[BILL] OH COME ON, ANDY. IT'S

376
00:15:32,876 --> 00:15:34,044
ME, GAY BILL.

377
00:15:34,919 --> 00:15:35,837
[ANDREW] YOU'RE MARRIED.

378
00:15:36,588 --> 00:15:38,256
[BILL] ANDY. GAY PEOPLE CAN GET

379
00:15:38,631 --> 00:15:39,591
MARRIED.

380
00:15:42,469 --> 00:15:49,976
(BUZZING)

381
00:15:50,769 --> 00:15:50,810
[ANDREW] WE HAVE TWO MINORITIES

382
00:15:51,186 --> 00:15:52,896
HERE, SO THERE YOU GO. JEWISH

383
00:15:53,605 --> 00:15:54,773
EVANY, THERE IT IS, AND GAY

384
00:15:55,440 --> 00:15:58,693
BILL. PERFECT. YEAH. THAT'S

385
00:15:59,069 --> 00:16:00,070
AWESOME.

386
00:16:00,987 --> 00:16:01,028
[CHERYL] HOW DO THESE THINGS GO,

387
00:16:01,029 --> 00:16:01,654
SCOTT?

388
00:16:02,280 --> 00:16:03,740
[SCOTT] ONE IS LATINO,

389
00:16:04,365 --> 00:16:05,200
AND 10 IS VERY LATINO.

390
00:16:05,950 --> 00:16:05,992
[CHERYL] I'M GOING TO GET THAT

391
00:16:06,367 --> 00:16:06,534
GOING FOR YOU.

392
00:16:08,369 --> 00:16:10,080
[■■]

393
00:16:10,872 --> 00:16:11,498
[ANDREW] WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!

394
00:16:12,248 --> 00:16:13,124
[ANDREW] WHAT, AM I JEWISH NOW?

395
00:16:13,833 --> 00:16:16,086
AM I JEWISH? AM I A JEW NOW?

396
00:16:16,836 --> 00:16:18,088
OH, AM I DOING THE JEW--

397
00:16:18,797 --> 00:16:19,881
OH, I'M A GAY JEW!

398
00:16:20,548 --> 00:16:21,883
LOOK AT ME, I'M A GAY JEW.

399
00:16:22,383 --> 00:16:23,843
OH! GAY JEW ANDY!

400
00:16:24,344 --> 00:16:24,761
GAY JEW ANDY--

401
00:16:25,512 --> 00:16:25,553
[EVANY] THAT'S REALLY RACIST,

402
00:16:25,887 --> 00:16:27,347
ANDY!

403
00:16:28,056 --> 00:16:28,098
[ANDREW] YOU FORGOT HOMOPHO--

404
00:16:46,908 --> 00:16:49,536
[MARK] OKAY GENTLEMEN...

405
00:16:50,203 --> 00:16:50,245
WHAT DO WE KNOW ABOUT OUR

406
00:16:50,620 --> 00:16:52,622
TRUCKS?

407
00:16:53,081 --> 00:16:56,251
THEY'RE HUGE.

408
00:16:56,709 --> 00:17:01,089
THERE'S ONE.

409
00:17:01,881 --> 00:17:01,923
[MARK] GOTTA HAVE ONE OF THESE

410
00:17:02,257 --> 00:17:04,384
TRUCKS.

411
00:17:04,843 --> 00:17:09,139
NO QUESTION.

412
00:17:09,722 --> 00:17:10,515
[MARK] MAYBE YOU--

413
00:17:11,015 --> 00:17:12,767
MAYBE YOU SAY,

414
00:17:13,476 --> 00:17:17,981
"I DON'T WANT YOUR TRUCK."

415
00:17:18,565 --> 00:17:21,526
[MARK] EXPARDON ME?

416
00:17:22,110 --> 00:17:25,155
YOU SHUT YOUR FUGGUP.

417
00:17:25,864 --> 00:17:26,156
[MARK] YOU DON'T GET IT.

418
00:17:26,573 --> 00:17:29,159
NUT.

419
00:17:29,951 --> 00:17:29,993
[MARK] PEOPLE MIGHT SAY,

420
00:17:30,326 --> 00:17:32,036
"IT'S TOO BIG, THIS TRUCK".

421
00:17:32,662 --> 00:17:33,997
ZIPPER YOUR MOUTH.

422
00:17:34,706 --> 00:17:35,540
YOU JUST NEED TO KNOW DIT--

423
00:17:35,874 --> 00:17:39,085
CRUMB!

424
00:17:39,586 --> 00:17:39,627
[MARK] UWAN--

425
00:17:39,836 --> 00:17:44,549
GARF!

426
00:17:45,300 --> 00:17:48,636
[MARK] THIS TRUCK'S FOR YOU!

427
00:17:48,970 --> 00:17:51,556
(GROAN)

428
00:17:52,182 --> 00:17:52,223
[MARK] KEEP IT TOGETHER,

429
00:17:52,599 --> 00:17:54,934
KEEP IT TOGETHER.

430
00:17:55,393 --> 00:17:59,439
(INCOHERENT)

431
00:18:00,023 --> 00:18:01,149
[MARK] ANY QUESTIONS?

432
00:18:01,482 --> 00:18:08,198
NO.

433
00:18:31,179 --> 00:18:31,721
[NARRATOR] PREVIOUSLY ON,

434
00:18:33,765 --> 00:18:35,225
[■■]

435
00:18:36,142 --> 00:18:37,227
>>MAYBE YOU'RE AFRAID TO TRY TO

436
00:18:37,810 --> 00:18:39,479
LEARN TO BOWL?

437
00:18:40,188 --> 00:18:40,813
>>I'M HAVING MORE FUN JUST

438
00:18:41,189 --> 00:18:44,442
WATCHING.

439
00:18:45,193 --> 00:18:46,236
>>EVERY PERSON HAS THE MAKINGS

440
00:18:46,819 --> 00:18:50,073
OF A GOOD BOWLER.

441
00:18:50,698 --> 00:18:51,532
[BRIAN] TOO WHITE?

442
00:18:52,200 --> 00:18:52,575
THAT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY

443
00:18:53,076 --> 00:18:53,868
SENSE. TOO WHITE.

444
00:18:54,619 --> 00:18:55,245
HOW COULD SOMEONE BE TOO WHITE?

445
00:18:56,079 --> 00:18:56,246
[MARK] YOU GOT A LOT OF KNOTS

446
00:18:57,205 --> 00:18:58,498
IN HERE. HOW DOES THAT FEEL?

447
00:18:59,165 --> 00:18:59,249
[BRIAN] THAT'S PRETTY GOOD,

448
00:18:59,832 --> 00:19:00,291
DUSTY, THANKS.

449
00:19:01,042 --> 00:19:01,125
[MARK] YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD GO

450
00:19:01,876 --> 00:19:01,918
BACK AND GIVE YOUR FRIENDS A

451
00:19:02,418 --> 00:19:03,628
PIECE OF YOUR MIND.

452
00:19:04,087 --> 00:19:04,254
[BRIAN] YEAH.

453
00:19:05,129 --> 00:19:05,255
[MARK] LET EM KNOW WHY YOU

454
00:19:06,005 --> 00:19:06,256
DESERVE TO BE IN THAT SKETCH

455
00:19:06,839 --> 00:19:07,006
TROUPE.

456
00:19:07,674 --> 00:19:07,715
[BRIAN] YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.

457
00:19:08,341 --> 00:19:08,383
[MARK] YEAH, MURDER THEM.

458
00:19:08,841 --> 00:19:09,550
[BRIAN] WHAT?

459
00:19:10,009 --> 00:19:10,260
[MARK] WHAT?

460
00:19:11,135 --> 00:19:11,511
[BRIAN] WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

461
00:19:12,095 --> 00:19:14,180
[MARK] I DON'T KNOW.

462
00:19:14,764 --> 00:19:15,265
[BRIAN] ALL RIGHT.

463
00:19:16,140 --> 00:19:17,892
[MARK] GET BACK THERE, AND SHOW

464
00:19:18,643 --> 00:19:20,270
THEM THAT YOU'RE THE BIGGER MAN.

465
00:19:21,062 --> 00:19:21,604
[BRIAN] I AM THE BIGGEST MAN.

466
00:19:22,355 --> 00:19:22,897
[MARK] YOU'RE THE BIGGEST MAN.

467
00:19:23,356 --> 00:19:23,481
[BRIAN] YEAH!

468
00:19:24,148 --> 00:19:24,399
[MARK] PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN.

469
00:19:24,857 --> 00:19:25,400
[BRIAN] I WILL.

470
00:19:26,109 --> 00:19:26,150
[MARK] SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'RE

471
00:19:26,567 --> 00:19:26,693
MADE OF.

472
00:19:27,151 --> 00:19:27,277
[BRIAN] YEAH!

473
00:19:27,986 --> 00:19:28,027
[MARK] MURDER THEM!

474
00:19:28,361 --> 00:19:28,695
[BRIAN] NO!

475
00:19:29,404 --> 00:19:30,905
[MARK] PLEASE! PLEASE MURDER

476
00:19:31,656 --> 00:19:33,366
THEM. OH, BLOOD MUST BE SPILLED

477
00:19:34,117 --> 00:19:35,285
ON THIS DAY. IF NOT YOURS, THEN

478
00:19:36,077 --> 00:19:37,161
WHO'S? OH GREAT LORD, OH LORD,

479
00:19:37,912 --> 00:19:38,621
IF IT MUST BE MINE, THEN IT

480
00:19:38,955 --> 00:19:39,372
SHALL.

481
00:19:39,831 --> 00:19:41,207
(INCOHERENT)

482
00:19:41,958 --> 00:19:42,000
CREATOR OF THE FINEST NOVELTY

483
00:19:42,250 --> 00:19:44,669
LINENS, OH WITH YOUR CHAIN

484
00:19:45,253 --> 00:19:46,879
STORES AND YOUR FINE,

485
00:19:47,588 --> 00:19:49,257
ONE-PIECE PAJAM, OH CREATOR

486
00:19:49,966 --> 00:19:50,883
THE QUEEN SIZED BED AND THE

487
00:19:51,384 --> 00:19:52,802
MINIATURE ASS...

488
00:19:53,094 --> 00:19:54,053
OH!

489
00:19:54,804 --> 00:19:54,929
[MARK] AND THEN GORD WOULD BE

490
00:19:55,346 --> 00:19:56,306
RIGHT HERE.

491
00:19:57,265 --> 00:19:57,306
[EVANY] DO WE HAVE TO GIVE HIM

492
00:19:57,307 --> 00:19:57,473
LINES?

493
00:19:58,182 --> 00:19:59,309
[MARK] YEAH... WELL, YEAH.

494
00:19:59,892 --> 00:20:01,019
[BRIAN] HEY!

495
00:20:01,686 --> 00:20:01,769
IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU START

496
00:20:02,145 --> 00:20:03,354
TAKING--

497
00:20:03,646 --> 00:20:04,397
OH!

498
00:20:04,981 --> 00:20:05,315
[EVANY] OH MY GOD.

499
00:20:05,690 --> 00:20:05,857
(CRACK)

500
00:20:06,399 --> 00:20:06,733
[BRIAN] (GROANING)

501
00:20:07,442 --> 00:20:07,483
[EVANY] CALL AN AMBULANCE,

502
00:20:08,026 --> 00:20:08,192
CALL AN AMBULANCE.

503
00:20:08,651 --> 00:20:09,402
(SIRENS)

504
00:20:09,944 --> 00:20:11,154
[EVANY] OH MY GOD.

505
00:20:11,904 --> 00:20:12,155
WHY ARE YOU DIALING SO MANY

506
00:20:12,530 --> 00:20:12,697
NUMBERS?

507
00:20:13,281 --> 00:20:13,323
[MARK] I'M TEXTING.

508
00:20:14,407 --> 00:20:14,615
AMBULANCE?!

509
00:20:15,366 --> 00:20:15,408
[MARK] I DON'T WANT TO GET INTO

510
00:20:15,700 --> 00:20:15,742
A WHOLE CONVERSATION.

511
00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:16,659
[EVANY] JUST CALL THE FUCKING

512
00:20:17,201 --> 00:20:17,327
AMBULANCE, MARK!

513
00:20:18,077 --> 00:20:21,122
[MARK/EVANY] (ARGUING)

514
00:20:21,622 --> 00:20:23,082
[BRIAN] (GASP)

515
00:20:23,791 --> 00:20:25,293
[CHERYL] BRIAN. ARE YOU OKAY?

516
00:20:25,918 --> 00:20:26,044
[BRIAN] WHERE AM I?

517
00:20:26,794 --> 00:20:27,503
[CHERYL] YOU'RE IN THE HOSPITAL.

518
00:20:28,254 --> 00:20:28,338
THE DOCTOR SAID YOU'RE GOING TO

519
00:20:29,297 --> 00:20:29,339
BE IN A WHEELCHAIR FOR THE REST

520
00:20:30,006 --> 00:20:30,340
OF YOUR LIFE.

521
00:20:30,882 --> 00:20:31,299
[BRIAN] OH JESUS!

522
00:20:32,050 --> 00:20:33,343
[KYLE] NO, NO, NO. IT'S GOOD.

523
00:20:34,135 --> 00:20:34,260
YOU'LL BE OUR TOKEN WHEEL CHAIR

524
00:20:35,053 --> 00:20:39,432
GUY NOW. YOU FILLED THE MANDATE.

525
00:20:40,099 --> 00:20:40,308
[GORD] I HEARD ABOUT WHAT

526
00:20:40,933 --> 00:20:41,351
HAPPENED WITH BRIAN.

527
00:20:42,018 --> 00:20:42,602
ARE YOU OKAY?

528
00:20:43,144 --> 00:20:44,479
[CHERYL] GORD...

529
00:20:45,229 --> 00:20:46,147
BRIAN'S OUR TOKEN MINORITY NOW,

530
00:20:46,481 --> 00:20:48,316
SO...

531
00:20:49,025 --> 00:20:49,359
YOU'RE OUT OF THE GROUP.

532
00:20:50,151 --> 00:20:50,360
[MARK] YEAH, GORD.

533
00:20:50,902 --> 00:20:51,110
GET OFF OUR LAND.

534
00:20:51,819 --> 00:20:52,320
[ANDREW] OKAY, THAT'S NOT THE

535
00:20:53,112 --> 00:20:55,615
BEST CHOICE OF WORDS FOR THAT.

536
00:20:56,366 --> 00:20:56,657
[KYLE] DOES ANYONE SMELL BURNT

537
00:20:56,991 --> 00:20:57,533
FLESH?

538
00:20:58,034 --> 00:20:59,327
[EVANY] KIND OF.

539
00:20:59,786 --> 00:21:01,329
[ALL] EWW.

540
00:21:02,038 --> 00:21:02,455
[SCOTT] OH, HEY GUYS. FELL

541
00:21:03,206 --> 00:21:05,375
ASLEEP IN MY TAN PANTS. DOCTOR

542
00:21:06,209 --> 00:21:08,378
SAID I'VE GOT 10TH DEGREE TANS.

543
00:21:09,087 --> 00:21:09,128
[KYLE] THAT IS GROSS.

544
00:21:09,504 --> 00:21:09,670
[MARK] LET'S CLOSE THAT UP.

545
00:21:10,380 --> 00:21:10,421
[KYLE] YEAH, I NEVER WANT TO

546
00:21:11,339 --> 00:21:11,381
LOOK AT THAT OR BE REMINDED OF

547
00:21:12,006 --> 00:21:12,048
THAT AGAIN.

548
00:21:12,465 --> 00:21:13,549
(EAGLE CAWING)

549
00:21:14,050 --> 00:21:15,009
[ANDREW] GUYS!

550
00:21:15,593 --> 00:21:17,345
LOOK! IT'S AN EAGLE.

551
00:21:18,137 --> 00:21:22,266
WAIT A SECOND, WHERE'S GORD?

552
00:21:23,059 --> 00:21:24,394
OH MY GOD. I THINK GORD TURNED

553
00:21:24,977 --> 00:21:26,396
INTO AN EAGLE.

554
00:21:26,979 --> 00:21:27,021
[CHERYL] COOL.

555
00:21:27,313 --> 00:21:27,855
[BILL] WOW.

556
00:21:28,564 --> 00:21:29,315
[KYLE] THEY CAN JUST DO THAT?

557
00:21:29,982 --> 00:21:34,946
[GORD] I'M RIGHT HERE.

558
00:21:35,696 --> 00:21:35,738
[ANDREW] I GENUINELY THOUGHT YOU

559
00:21:36,072 --> 00:21:36,739
TURNED INTO AN EAGLE.

560
00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:37,532
I'M SORRY GORD.

561
00:21:38,074 --> 00:21:38,658
I AM REALLY SORRY.

562
00:21:39,409 --> 00:22:35,380
I... THOUGHT THAT YOU WERE...